Eulogy by Darren Starr


I can see your life pass before my eyes.

I remember when you were a playful new baby who interrupted me being the only child.

Eventually, I came to love as my new brother. Your brown hair, fun-loving smile, and non-stop energy became a part of Starr-family life.

I remember what seemed to be non-stop fights with me and Kenny. You always wanted to do it your way. It was who you were.

At the Grand Canyon, if Mom said stay away from the side of walkway, because she was afraid you would tumble down the cliff and fall 2000 feet, you walked on the far edge, as close as you could, while still being safe. You knew you would not fall. But no one else was ever as sure.

At Escondido bowls you were the skateboard king. Fearless and full of ideas. No trick was too hard. No speed was too great. You did it all with your fun-loving smile, while pushing it to the edge.

Later on as a musician you continued to excel. You rocked every ones world.

I listened to the Clash. You became the Clash.

Your music became your life. You put every drop of yourself into it, with 100% of your emotion, because you could not do it any other way.

You burned the candle at both ends and blew it up in the middle, with your fun-loving smile, your sweet heart and your wild wild soul.

You made bad choices, you cheated death, you were a loving brother, a loving uncle to my two sons, while you pissed us off, and we worried about you.

If wish you were still here to continue to piss us off and keep us worrying, but you’re not, and I feel like a piece of me is gone.

I will miss you my brother.

5 Responses to Eulogy by Darren Starr

  1. The eulogy presented by both brothers of Sander were right on point and all I can say is Amen.

  2. Betti Rubin Jacobson says:

    I was so saddened to hear the news of Sander’s passing. Thank you for sharing your eulogies with us. May the Starr family be comforted amoung the mourners of Zion and may Sander’s soul be elevated in Olam Habah, the world to come, the world of truth.

  3. Shannon Starr says:

    Thank you for creating this site Darren. I wish I could have been there to hear yours and Kenny’s eulogies. I am grateful for the opportunity to read them.
    I am so sorry for your loss. Sander was so special. I loved him so much and hate that I was not able to come to El Paso for a final good-bye. He was an amazing man, he was such a talented musician and one of the most intelligent people I have ever known. He is everything you said – he lived on the edge for sure! My heart is broken – I can’t believe he’s gone.
    Sander was one of my greatest teachers. He gave me so much and has been such an influence in my life. I would not be who I am today were it not for Sander. I am so grateful for having shared my life with him. Those memories are precious to me and I will always treasure them.

  4. Mary Marrs (Volz) says:

    Oh, I remember the first time I laid eyes on Sander Starr in 7th grade at Morehead Junior High School, he was wearing a long-sleeved light blue Hobie t-shirt, jeans, and a pair of vans and played the saxaphone, the coolest guy I had ever seen! He could light up a classroom with his smile. He was never afraid to be himself and was a true original. At UTEP he was always so sweet and had a kind word to share no matter how cool he was and how not cool I was. My condolences to the Staff family, especially Ken, you weren’t just Sander’s brother, you were “Kenny”. The honesty you have shared regarding his substance abuse issues will help dissipate the stigma that surrounds individuals and families that struggle with similar situations. If any of us look deep enough and are honest enough we will see we each have our own issues to struggle through. My thoughts and prayers are with you all. ~Mary Marrs

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